You go back to your roots and I'm envious because I it will go very well. I read your letter a thousand times and I know by heart and all your questions, although deep inside me was that long ago that talked about this.
I was glad to read that you were going home to see your people, leaving behind Europe so cold that this winter so crude, but my heart stopped when I read that I wanted to tell yours. It hurt all the pain inside you that you have fear of rejection from those you want. And I was angry to see people like you suffer from things that have not chosen. I saw your fear, I saw your fears, I read your apprehension. I know you too well and even I know you shaking your pulse when you wrote me. Nervousness and anxiety when you know you can not refuse more than a moment that is becoming more present to the questions of your relatives. And I figured
front of your mother, her heart beating a thousand, sweaty hands, and a little dizzy trying to find the right words to say you're gay.
know you cried when you wrote that your mother certainly reject and I feel bad because I do not want to spend for a drink so hard. Your mother will surely understand. But what about the others? Maybe it will not take it well. Not because they are rare or hard-liners, but simply that in our lands, we have not reached this level. In times like these, it makes me angry that our countries are not as evolved as the European countries, our people do not have open-mindedness they have here and see homosexuals as dragons when here is standard in the world.
I know what you have suffered. I know all your inner battles. I know you went on there among other things to be free and live out your sexual freedom, but I also know that as much as run from the time provided, like a boomerang, just coming back.
And I am sorry to have to suffer for something that is not an eyesore, nor is it a horror. You are a wonderful person, one of the best I know, a guy. And I go on when I think that after all your internal struggles: failed romances with girls and hyper-masculine pose that for once you're finally released, now you re-lock because you might judge.
I know that after many years in Europe surrounded by friends I have never questioned anything, I think you're stronger mentalmente.Sé that we are already somewhat Europeanized by as much freedom and now we are guided by the "I do not lying "" I'm going with the truth "" I am free to say ... "when we used to think differently. But I think all your fears are stored there in you and that will be afloat with mute reproach, or any critical eye.
why I want you to think why now, feel the need to scream to all your sexual status. Is it for you? Is it for your mother? Is it by your partner? Is it because you need it or because others want to know? If you think you have to say, then say so. But think about it because you have no moral obligation to do so. Deems it not necessary to sit with me to tell me. We expect to ask and what you chose confirmármelo as you've done with all your European friends. Think first, because then you can not go back. And maybe you are hard. And I feel bad because you will suffer, and suffer because you will be judged by one thing they do not control or understand.
not think it's pathetic, "saying nothing" as you wrote in your letter. Your mother is older and you no longer live there. The only person that has to import in your decision to confess to all your family, your mother. You have to appreciate what she thought, or as you sit on it.
Your loving mother reared her alone. You are their only son, his child prodigy. Is you who thinks in the privacy of his home, from distant lands. She who always tries his physical pain and problems go unnoticed in his tone of voice when speaking to you over the phone. You are his life, his pride, are his vanity. Is you who thinks when cry in private, the distance that separates you. It speaks when you squint your eyes smug smile. It is you who hung the medals when he explains all your accomplishments, even the smallest. It is you who thinks when he hears in any news of any disaster anywhere in the world. You are their dignity, joy, satisfaction and you know she will suffer for you, as I suffer to think about what you tell others to know you're gay.
Some things can not choose, but we can not do anything against the ignorance of those who do not understand that the more someone is gay and if countries like ours. I'm sure the time and years modernize también nuestras sociedades. Europa también era así hace tiempo y incluso tristemente hay gente hoy en día en Europa que parecen ser de nuestros países, atrasados en este aspecto.
No soporto la idea de pensar que tienes que sentar a todo el mundo para contarles algo muy tuyo. Y más, que estarás solo. Aunque sé cómo o cuánto debes necesitar el hecho de decirlo o reconocerlo públicamente. Egoísmo europeo que antepone lo que quieres tú a todo lo demás. Buscas tu libertad y huir de mentiras simples ante preguntas incomodas, pero nuestras sociedades no están preparadas, están atrasadas.
Es triste que ni hayas robado, que ni hayas matado pero que tengas que esconder algo tan consustancial and so simple. I guess every society needs its process to reach the European level. But it is unfortunate that our countries condemn homosexuality and see it as unnatural.
friend In my opinion, I think it has to import to make this decision is your mother. It's always been there, even from afar. It is the only one you really, before your dear family, before me ... Although I love a lot.
Whatever you do, I'm here, always for anything. I know and you know there are things we can not choose. Born period. And remember, whatever you do, it will be correct. I know it's a phrase from whites, but cuela.Quiero decirte echo of that now at least, so as to echan of the good friends and at least in the exceptional people like you. A kiss
very safe. You
friend.
Always yours, Yaïvi.
http://yaivi.blogspot.com/
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